There are a number of things that can trigger tantrums. The list includes frustration, anger, attention seeking, jealousy, hunger, tiredness and illness. If you can identify the situations that are likely to lead to tantrums in your child, then you can plan ahead and decide how you are going to handle the situation. Putting strategies into place quickly can head-off a tantrum before it blows up.

If your child is starting to kick-off, try to stay calm. You are your child's role model. You are teaching them, by your example, how to handle a stressful situation. So step back and take a few deep breaths.

If you think you can't cope or worry that other people are judging you, then you will feel more stressed. Your child will pick up on this and it will make the situation worse. So if you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, tell yourself to STOP! Remind yourself that your child is just doing what toddlers do and that it's not a reflection on your parenting. Think of it as an opportunity for you to help your child learn about how to cope with frustration and how to express emotions in an acceptable way.

A good strategy for heading off a tantrum is by distracting your child. If you can, at the first sign of a tantrum, get out a new activity, sing a song, or start to read a favourite story. Or you could jump up and look out of the window and say: “Did you see that funny bird/enormous cat/pink dinosaur!” If you are shopping, involve them in what you're doing. For example, give them a list of things to collect, or challenge your toddler to be the first to find the baked beans.

Once a tantrum has started, the best course of action is to totally ignore it. Easier said than done! If you are at home, just make sure that your child is safe and then get on with something else. Don't let them see you looking at them and do not talk to them. If they're still having a tantrum after five minutes, tell them in a firm voice: “It's time to stop now.” If they can't stop, you'll need to sit quietly with them until the tantrum blows over. Some children respond well to being held at this point while others don't. Trust your instincts about what will work best for your child.

If you are in a public place, ignoring a tantrum can be hard because you may feel embarrassed. Bear in mind that most people who've had children will understand. If you really can't stand ignoring your child's screams in public, you'll have to pick them up gently and take them home. If you're at a friend's house or in the park, you could say in a firm voice: “Stop that now.” If they don't stop, say: “Stop that now or I'll have to take you home,” and follow through.

If your child is starting to make a fuss, don't use treats or sweets to bribe them into behaving nicely - or you'll be teaching your tot that acting up is a good way of getting what they want.

An alternative to bribery is giving a child an occasional and unexpected reward. So, for example, if they leave the park when they are asked to without having a tantrum, or when they have behaved well in the supermarket, say: “Thank you for behaving so nicely. I liked the way you came back when I called you and you did as I asked. Now we're going for a treat.” (You could let them choose something small, like a comic, or take them to the café for a drink and a snack).

When your child is playing nicely, it's tempting to take the opportunity to catch up on the housework or to grab a well-earned cup of coffee. However, it's important to notice when your child is playing quietly and praise them. This teaches them that nice behaviour is rewarded with your attention while tantrums are ignored.

Once a tantrum ends, reassure your child and move on. Don't go on about their behaviour or hold a grudge against them for the rest of the day. Give your child a warm hug. Acknowledge their feelings and praise them for calming down. You can say something like: “I know that was really hard for you. Thank you for calming down.”