Being a parent means creating a loving, safe environment for your child to grow up in, from a baby right through to a teenager. You will need, and develop, different skills at each stage, but at all times your child will depend on you. You will become the expert on them and what they need to help them grow into a happy, healthy adult.

Holding your new baby, as they squint at you for the first time, can be a magical experience. After the birth, your emotions are often so high, you can’t imagine feeling anything other than this strong, overwhelming love for your baby. That’s why it’s worth keeping a few little mementos of those precious early days – a pair of tiny socks or your baby’s hospital wrist tag – in a memories box, to remind you of how much joy being a parent can bring. This is especially useful when you’ve had a really bad day with your little one and need a positive boost.

It’s normal to wonder if you are a good enough parent. There is no ‘right’ way to parent, and no perfect parent out there with all the answers. Children need to have the basics covered: to be given love and affection; to be kept safe and given limits on how they act; to be kept warm, fed and clothed; and to have the opportunity to learn. Tick these boxes and you can accept that you are a good enough parent. Loving your child with no strings attached is the most important thing you can do.

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Unfortunately, babies don’t come with an instruction manual and much of your parenting will be based on a mixture of love, help from friends and relatives, common sense and luck. Never feel that you have to take advice that doesn’t feel right for you and your family. You will find many resources to help you parent, from books and television programmes to useful websites and trusted professionals, but nothing beats your own judgment, so learn to trust it.

Seek out other parents with children the same age as yours and you’ll soon realise you’re not alone. Antenatal classes and mother-and-toddler playgroups are great places to meet people. Look in your local newspaper or library for details of groups or activities, or go online. Ask your health visitor or other parents about mums’ groups in your area, until you find one that’s right for you. Bear in mind that you can join an organisation like the National Childbirth Trust (www.nct.org.uk), even if you don’t attend their antenatal classes, and become part of a local group of new mums.

Setting boundaries can help children and young people to develop self-control. Good boundaries are those that are fair and reasonable, and appropriate for the age and maturity of your child. Boundaries should be clear, specific and clearly communicated. They work best when you have your child’s attention, when they understand what you’re requesting, and when there are positive consequences if they co-operate.

Try to avoid shouting and laying down the law. Too many rules can make children feel confused or even defiant. A few clear, simple boundaries are much easier to stick to. Shouting may frighten children into good behaviour at first, but it will not help them to understand what they did wrong. It will also create unnecessary drama and may well encourage them to shout back, shout at others, or be generally aggressive to get their own way.

There will be some difficult decisions to make as your child grows up. Talk over any hard choices with people you trust. Friends, relatives and other parents who have had to make the same decisions will often be able to provide helpful advice and support. Or ask your health visitor, GP or another professional, but never be pushed into making a decision that’s not right for you and your family. Take time to weigh up your options.

Developing a high tolerance for mess is useful for parents, as is the ability to do two or more things at once. Wisdom and patience are useful too. You will develop many qualities over the years, including some that you did not know you were capable of. Be prepared for the greatest demands to be made at the most inconvenient times. Above all, hold on to your sense of humour and remember that there is no such thing as the perfect parent.